The Innumerable Doctors

Doctor Who, if not the longest-running science fiction series in the history of mankind, is definitely up there. With the arrival of the 12th doctor, I would like to present to you alternate Doctors who are Doctors, but not necessarily “official” Doctors. For the sake of brevity, I’m only listed ones that had screentime appearances in authorized BBC productions.

Dr. Who (Peter Cushing, Dr. Who and the Daleks, 1965)

Dr. Who is a human doctor with the last name “Who.” In a series of films centering around this doctor’s conflict with the Daleks, he brings his friends and relations across time and space in a machine of his own devising. “That’s no space station! It’s a time machine!”

The Watcher (Adrian Gibbs, Logopolis, 1981)

This is an “offical” incarnation of the doctor, not given an order. He is capable of time travel without the aid of a TARDIS. He eventually merges with the dying Fourth Doctor to produce the fifth doctor. I for one think he should spend less time watching, and more time moisturizing.

The Valeyard (Michael Jayston, The Trial of a Time Lord, 1986)

This is another “official” incarnation of the doctor, said to happen somewhere between his twelfth and last incarnation. He’s an evil incarnation brought forth when the doctor apparently tries to break the hard limit of regenerations (this hasn’t happened yet, as far as I can tell). To quote my friend, Ben, “The Doctor is penultimately evil.”

The Doctor (Rowan Atkinson, The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999)

In a Red Nose Day special, BBC gave fans what they really wanted. MOAR DOCTOAR! In The Curse of Fatal Death, we not only get a parody of just about every single Doctor Who trope ever, but also get to see five incarnations of the doctor in under 30 minutes. The doctor is about to retire and marry his current companion, Emma, until the Master and his Dalek assistants presents him with a challenge. He is killed by the Daleks when trying to communicate their ploy to betray the Master to the same.

The Doctor (Richard E. Grant, The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999)

Recently reincarnated, this self-described “cute, sexy and lick-the-mirror-handsome” Doctor. He shortly meets his demise while trying to rewire the Dalek’s zectronic beam.

The Doctor (Jim Broadbent, The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999)

This incarnation is shy, being afraid of women and feminine men. He meets his fate when trying to avoid confrontations with Emma and the master.

The Doctor (Hugh Grant, The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999)

This incarnation is handsome and heartfelt. He discovers that he wasted three incarnations because the blasted device he was trying to fix wasn’t unplugged. However, he absorbs a fatal dose of zectronic radiation, fatal to Time Lords. Making Emma and the Master promise to take care of the universe for him, he dies for the last time, never to be regenerated. Worth noting here is that Hugh Grant was later offered the role of the Ninth doctor in the new series. He turned it down because he didn’t think it would be that successful.

The Doctor (Joanna Lumley, The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999)

Possibly the only female incarnation of the Doctor to appear in any BBC-produced video. She is the next incarnation after Hugh Grant’s Doctor, showing that it doesn’t matter what the “rules of the universe are.” We need the Doctor. Unfortunately, she’s “just not the man [Emma] fell in love with,” bringing their plans for nuptials to a quick halt.

The Doctor (Mark Gatiss, Web of Caves, 1999)

This Doctor, in a nondescript quarry, reluctantly agrees to attempt foil some unoriginal plans of some Thal-like humanoids.

The Doctor (Richard E. Grant, Scream of the Shalka, 2003)

This marks the second time Richard E. Grant has played The Doctor. This time, he’s a little more world-weary and sarcastic. He arrives in London and helps defeat the Shalka. I must admit two things here: 1. This was my first experience with Doctor Who, short of watching a single Tom Baker episode on PBS on a tiny TV at the family cottage with my sci-fi fan uncle when I was eight or nine. 2. I would have loved if this became its own series. I heart the Shalka Doctor.

The Dream Lord (Toby Jones, Amy’s Choice, 2010)

The Dream Lord isn’t an actual incarnation of the Doctor, but a manifestation of the Eleventh Doctor, sans all his charm and whimsy. He’s sort of an Inception Doctor, who’s defeated when everybody figures out the best way to wake the heck up.

The Curator (Tom Baker, The Day of the Doctor, 2013)

While never actually admitted as an incarnation of the doctor, the fact that he is (a) played by Tom Baker, and (b) implied to be such, indicates that he is either a future incarnation of the doctor (possibly “the last”, after the Valeyard) revisiting an old incarnation, or is actually the Fourth Doctor.

The War Doctor (John Hurt, The Night of the Doctor, 2013)

In an effort to screw up everybody’s counting, there is the War Doctor. He is a product of necessity during the Time Wars. He eventually regenerates due to “wearing thin”, becoming the Ninth Doctor. Worth noting is that Hurt is the oldest actor to start portraying the Doctor.

There you have it, 13 Doctors to complement the 13 we’ve got (well, one duplicate). Who’s your favorite Doctor?